my return to blogging

Well it has been quite sometime since i've posted or wrote anything so I figure i need to get started again. I was going to try and transform my grapefruitrecords.com into a new jamesmartinwindsor.com but have said fuck that.
I'm going to stick with this, its simple and easy, and im a simple and easy person.

From now on I promise to try and avoid talking about nothing but politics, after all nobody seemed all that interested. There are other things in life, and my obsessiveness wasn't good for me. I'll just get this off my chest and then leave it at that. Bush won, and that sucks, but would have Kerry been that much better? most likely yes. My feelings about the results are many but i'll just say this. Doesn't anyone else find it odd that the past two elections have come down to the winner of one state (Flordia or Ohio), and the fact that this state always seems to take much, much longer to count all of its votes then any other state? I won't go into details but if you are interested in why my opinon is shaped this way.
http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1104-36.htm

Now that out of the way.

Here is 5 minutes of a steady stream of thought from my head, to my fingers, and to your screen. you've been warned.

What I wanted to write about at first was the things in our lives that we keep from each other. The whole notion of personal and private life. That there are things that we wont tell anyone, wont even tell ourselves and that there are things we have no problem with everyone knowing. Who do we let into our lives, and who we keep out. I’ve always thought that nothing should be a taboo subject, and that everything should be discussed. We all think about so much shit but rarely ever share it with one another. Why is that? I’m sure there are psychological reasons for it, fear of rejection or some damn thing. Maybe we just don’t want anyone else realizing how crazy we are. “That’s some fucked up shit that’s going on in your head. I think you might be crazy.” We all have crazy thoughts from time to time, some more frequently then others, but none the less, everyone. The bloody president thinks he talked to god, in my books, you are fucking nuts if you are talking to god, but then again maybe that’s only because I’ve never talked to god before, or rather never lost my fucking mind. Everyone is pretty fucked up in my opinion, in one way or another. Every girl says every guy is crazy, and I’m pretty sure every girl I’ve met is a little crazy at one point or another (Which is understandable, all those hormones going through your body is like doing weird drug cocktails all the time). Who are the people that define this norm we call sanity. I know when I feel like I might be getting a little crazy, I know when other people are crazy (sometimes it takes a while). Or is it something that we all have collectively agreed upon and I’m out of the loop? I guess we could always just find the medical definition of the term, but should we really be asking Doctors what determines sanity, they were prescribing lobotomies at one point in time? Spending all your time trying to fight something as inevitable as death seems a bit bizarre to me. Trying to play god but having to take an oath not to play as god before you can become a doctor? Weirdo med students that start thinking they have every disease known to man kind. Don’t get me wrong, I love doctors, anyone that can dedicate there lives to such a depressing job gets my support, but I question the mind set of some of them. This is making me crazy just thinking about it.
There is something a little crazy in the fact that we all spend so much time trying to prove or sanity to one another, rather then just admitting to each other we are all a little fucked up. I guess that’s why honesty has never been one of mankind’s stronger characteristics. Well I for one see the virtues of honesty, and have been continually trying to be more honest to myself and others, I recommend that you do the same, its just a much easier way of living. On the note that honesty isn’t a common thing I say this: It is either that evolution has a serious flaw by passing off good traits for basic survival technique, or that if there is a university for creators somewhere in the cosmic universe, god must have been drinking too much and sleeping around rather then studying. I guess that would make god pretty human, and thus reinforce the idea that god is nothing but a man made belief, or maybe im just reinforcing my own beliefs. Damn you biasis. This rants over.


Well I have never done that before, and may never again, woot.

This is a letter from Hawksley Workman, talnted musician that i enjoy. He is playing in montreal and toronto in mid December, so get your tickets.

November. uncertainty in the air. i don't know if we realize the strangeness of the times we are living in. a funny cluster of people weakened by technology and misguided notions of fortune. is there a pure heart? is there a god with ears to hear prayer? i have been walking again. parked car. funny how the modern symphonies of our lives have become triple 'F' forte with burning, prestissimo tempos... we don't sound like music anymore. the pace of my steps and my heart seem to have reawakened my thirst. my desire and my connection to something larger than i am. funny little chaos. funny little strands. funny little bits of disease. redeemed by our art, by our kindness, and our occasional uncharacteristic moments of selflessness. alas, music. a glorious vibration. as we are too funny little vibrations in the shape of these familiar human vessels. connectivity. vibrations alike to themselves, with music making us one. water of one's sweat... sweat of one's piss... life giving all the while. importance is relative... what is right and wrong seems less so. i get scared for culture. our lovely sovereign voice. it is so much easier to hide from our truths. they are difficult and demanding. food, music, language, art, are all traditions of function and happiness. with these things we are at want for little more. so many reasons for fear these days... why no reasons for faith?? Not the church going faith... but the faith that is intrinsic in a culture of giving and confidence. in a culture of strength there is no need to fain humility... faith alone is humbling. november. uncertainty in the air. i don't know if we realize the strangeness of the times we are living in. peace before the snow...


love and happiness for all, till next time, james