Merry Christmas

It's comming to that time of year where you are thankfull as hell that exams are over, and many a person is wondering "another year is over, what the fuck am I doing with myself?"
The holidays always cause people to act in interesting ways. Wether it is getting back together with old lovers, breaking up with current ones, assholes behaving strangly kind and wonderful, wonderful people behaving even more wonderful then normal, or whatever, it is all great to take in. I fucking love Christmas.
So is December 25th actually Jesus' Birthday?

Of course not you dumb fucks! Jesus was actually born sometime in October according to most Historians. The Church in attempts to sway Pagans on to the Jesus love, turned the Pagan holiday Yule into Christmas. Yule was when they would burn a large log for several days and binge drink. Log turned into a Tree, add a dash of Christ, mix in some commercialism thanks to Coke and you have Santa, mix in consumerism and we all start buying each other expensive gifts, volia Modern Day Christmas as we know it.

James X-mas Tips:
1/ Getting stoned late at night and watching any of the following 3 christmas movies is always a great way to bring the family together: Scrooged, Christmas Vacation, and the Ref.

2/ Girlfriend wants a diamond for X-mas. Solution: Give her a peice of charcol and tell her to wait a billion years. Then explain to her how the diamond trade has caused great misfortune to peoples lives in Africa, and South America. Articles in Harpers and National Geographic are good.

3/ Buy all your gifts over the internet. Who the fuck wants to spend 15 seconds in a mall at this time of year?

4/ Wine is best bought in cases in order to avoid long line ups at the LCBO, SAQ.

5/ Baking cookies (shortbread, and molasis, etc...) and building gingerbread houses is a tasty and rewarding experince. Unless your shit, and everything you make is awful.

6/ When drinking egg nog, use dark rum. Don't get drunk off of this. Someone who drinks too much egg nog is not cool.

7/ Don't behave like an asshole. Do your best to not annoy or piss of the people around you. Let most things slide. Feeling tense, stressed, or a bit sad. Have another drink.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Ahh yes some music of mine is available for download at www.grapefruitrecords.com

Also, the cock sucker department store Ogilvy's that sells overpriced cosmetics and other designer horse shit is trying to ban the spoon player on St. Catherines.
Fuck these assholes, and spit of there store when you walk by.